I had a funny dream. We were headed out of town and we took a train without a hood, so it was like a rollercoaster. We pasted lots of fields but the one that stood out was the watermelon patch. There were watermelon trees and with full grown watermelons hanging from them. And watermelon cherries in buckets lining the road and the electric posts had cut open water melons on them like those airplane guiders. The air smelled of fresh watermelon and the people smiled.
I don’t like watermelon.
i feel like im acting all the time, i feel like i dont belong anywhere, i feel sooo lost.
im so lost.
im lost and im away
i hate it.
i want to get out of here. i want to be out of here. and i dont care who im leaving behind.
this isnt me. this place. this town. these people.
i cant even dress how i want to dress for petes sake.
god, i hate it.
you have’nt been you in a long time. i barely see glimpses of that girl. but i don’t think really know who you are anyways, so i can’t judge whether or not you’ve been faking it. you just gotta get away, getting back to you, or becoming a new person doesn’t always require a physical change, your location is only a place. the people who love you will let you go and when you’re ready to come back, they’ll embrace you.
Homemade banana nut bread. I miss having a boyfriend to cook for, bake yummy things with, go out to snazzy restaurants with. I honestly have no one to miss, no one to regret not loving hard enough, I think that means I’ve been out of it for too long.
I just wish it was easier. That all you had to do was put in an application and you were given the person who was most suitable for that particular time in your life. I want someone to go to movies with, complain about Algebra to, go to museums with, check out colleges with, suffer though family dinners with, someone to make plans to just get away for a few days with.
I’m never ready though. Even if love did come around it wouldn’t be the right time. It never is. I want a boyfriend on tour, He’ll always come home but he’s gone a lot, so I’ll miss him, and we can talk at night, and he can sing me to sleep, and the trust will be there because I’ll have to trust him because he’s not always home, and he’ll trust me to know I wont purposely mess up.
Nothing but smiles for you tonight tumblr, I’m going to finish this post and my nana nut bread and then going to R’s to see the Ugly Truth.
“Should they catch us and dispatch us to those separate work camps,
I’ll dream about you. I will not doubt you with the passing of time.
Should they kill me, your love will fill me as warm as the bullets.
I’ll know my purpose, this war was worth this. I won’t let you down.”—Say Anything
I’m eating cottage cheese and zesty tomato chips and drinking a tall glass of water with a half of lemon. Oh my nummy. I love cottage cheese, I could live off of it, as well as fresh lemon water. I’m in an Owl City mood tonight. His lyrics remind me of a a bed time story, they’re so vivid and descriptive. If you’d like to recommend some tunes, I’d love to hear.
I’m going shopping/thrifting tomorrow. I’m in need of new necklaces, ones with feathers or animals. Gaudy rings, not plastic but still BAM rings. Sweaters, dresses and a jacket. Finding a good jacket will be iffy but I know I’ll find lots of pretty sweaters and blouses.
I might even bring you back something tumblr. :]
“I just woke up and decided to be happy. And it worked. I was always told it wouldn’t, ‘you can’t make yourself be happy’. I’m happy, so very happy. But I can’t shake it off. That pull of my hair, constant whisper behind me, feel of glare: constantly reminds me that this moment of bliss is easily lost. Brooding, thinking too much, rolling my eyes at little moments wasn’t working. What can I do but put my hair behind my ears, roll up my sleeves and face these obstacles with a smile? It’s easier.”—
100 and 1 reasons why today will go down in the books.
Our bus going up in smoke, oil and water lights on and a constant beeping, having to run off the bus onto the edge of the interstate into the other bus. Doing the jiggalo while sitting three to a seat. Everyone singing Lynisha ‘Happy Birthday’ and not sounding so out of tune. The amount of pictures taken was insane. Watching hundreds of college kids run about in boxers, sweatpants, and tshirts. Getting back from the trip and getting so pissed at the front office most kids ran to the parking lot and left. Madison falling right before our group photo will forever be amazing.
But you want something even better?
Remembering why I loved being with Aubz and Savannah constantly. Kaili(plus Taylor) and Kyle making my stomach hurt from their brilliant comments. Dustin Rooney’s amazing height and how he forced me into the shower(not at all how it sounds). Making a root beer float, idea stolen from Kyle, nomnomnom. Rae and I asking 101 questions to our student guide, Chelsea(gum vending machine, pimp my golf cart, psych is for crazy people). Today was the longest amount of time I’ve gotten to be with Marissa since forever, I enjoyed every minute of it. Two words: Stolen loofah.
Say yeah if you’re not going to be accepted!
Say yeah if you do get accepted you won’t have the money to pay for it!!
I tend to rhyme too much and it just gets weird. I love music though, If I had to choose a new language for everyone to speak, we would speak in chords and music notes. Maybe then we’d know how someone is really feeling and when people needed to be left alone, when they needed a hug or when someone was really happy, you’d automatically be lifted by their pop beat and you’re song would change too.
I think about things like that a lot. Music is just too good to be only a sometimes thing, I want it all the time.
that’s the problem with you I can’t stand you by half
i can’t stand how you breathe, i can’t stand how you laugh
you’re the worst person i ever could have loved but my mind wont sleep
how did you get to me with that crooked smile and those two left feet?
Hey M, I hope you’re feeling bettah! Mr. Lippert’s is no fun, Kyle and I resorted to vagina jokes. It was terrible, completely unladylike[you would have loved it].
Let me know when it’s okay to call you. You can’t catch swine flu through el telephno, right?