(i carry it in my heart)

Tomorrow I will give a piece of the word to the children of my church. I am slightly unprepared but I trust God to help with all the missing pieces. I originally planned to talk about Jesus and how He is the Living Water but in a twist of events I am now creating and entirely new sermon on Protecting Your Heart. It’s a message that should be stored away in all of their little hearts and I hope they enjoy it. I am so nervous but at the same time I know I have been created for the purpose of speaking to children and youth about the love of God. I will inform you on how it goes. Prayers, warm thoughts, and love are appreciated.

Oh boy. :D

I’m coming home. I’ve missed You. Oh, You’re so lovely. Thank you, Lord.

I can’t wait for my life to start so that I can start living. I want it here. I want creative energy and for words to explode and burn and inspire like fireworks. I want that but I’ve lost all my get up and go. No voices have talked in my head for a long time, no songs have been pooling in my brain, no emotions have spilled themselves forward. I’ve been pressing the same key on the piano for a very long time. I want a major key, I want a minor chord. I want life in color, vibrant and awake. I’m tired of sleep walking through life. I want to be more than conscious, I want to be present, to be aware. How do you lose that? Does it hide? Do you out grow it? Does it out grow you? Do you cast it off? Or does it slowly slip away like fog? I’m happy, there’s no contest. I’m happier than I’ve ever been but I’m not being fulfilled. My basic needs are being met but self actualization is still so far out of reach. The answer is so close and it’s not a person, it’s not a place, it’s not a state of mind. But that is as far as I can narrow it down to. I’m at a loss.

hollowed heart, beat again. awaken from your sleep.
you’re cold, lonesome, dead. but still it’s time again.

hisheart:

you are beautiful and treasured more than anything on this earth, more than your image, more than what people have said to you or what you have said about yourself. we are worth a value that was already paid for on the Cross and because of this sacrifice there is no more debt to pay. 

you are not a mistake because your purpose is far more great than any of the vices of your sin. you can be free but it’s your choice to want it, to fight and give your entire self to it. our value and innocence can never be taken from us but it can be broken because when you fit something in that which was never meant to be it becomes shattered but not degraded.

you have always been eternally loved and valued from the depths of your soul because you were only created from it, to be it, to be in it, and to be through it. Truth is not hidden from you rather you have hidden your self from it; Truth awakens yourself to the reality of freedom. 

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.— Matthew 7:7 

If I could take back all the words I said and just say that one bold sentence, I would.

Being happy is such a great thing. Being happy and not compromising who you are is an even better thing. Being happy and not conforming to the world is the greatest. Can I just say I like being happy.
I feel like a cheese ball but I’m so blessed to have people in my life that just want to sing, tell stories, and be seniors instead of drinking, smoking, and having sex all over the place because my worth is not determined by other people but what people think about me is determined by my friends and if my friends are good people than I must be doing something right.

Very Good Things:
BTW, I am the queen of Hot Wings(as in I am boss at making them). Remember Me is a movie that should only be watched with your best friend because only Rae will allow me to grab onto her arm fat and squeeze her while crying uncontrollable. Marcell the Shell with Shoes On is the best youtube video ever. Easy A is a fantastic movie. The Electric Slide is something I’ll never be able to do even if Lauren takes ten minutes to demonstrate. I am official idiot for getting my satchel caught in a seat belt. You can trust Chloe to go get refill the popcorn. And the only thing that would have made the night perfect is Rae but there is always a next time. And there is also always more senior goodness to come. Ohhh and that Halloween party is definitely going down because any excuse for me and Savannah to karaoke is a good excuse.
Hey, don’t look at me like that! I’m happy and I cant help it. :D

Come back to me.

givesmehope:

I work for a couple weeks a year in an orphanage in Haiti, I am only 15.

I fell in love with a little boy when he was 6 months old. He remembers me each year.

Last time I was there, he turned 2. I told him I loved him one night in English. In Creole he responded, “I love you, Mommy.”

Clarens gives me hope. All of those KGMH